just a guy made of dots and lines (crs) wrote,
just a guy made of dots and lines
crs

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lost again

Interesting talks on zephyr tonight... how to summarize? It's 3am and I'm summarizing Proust. Great.

Feeling in between social circles, like I'm diverging from the old one, "outgrowing" them, or something, but not really established in any new circle. It comes from trying to be in all the groups at once, I suppose. And from being totally unable to focus on or keep track of the intricacies of the political discussion even now still happening downstairs.

"Hot crotches are cool."

Morrowind sounds intriguing; branching plot lines might make for a good game.

Had some interesting flirtations with a cool girl who I had categorized quite solidly in the "unavailable" place some time ago, when I was, um, younger. Or something. I don't know if they mean anything, but hey. Cute people are cute, right?

"sometimes i think i run on pure wishful thinking"

Had the talk about not knowing who I am again... I talked about where I would go to meet people, mentioned Manray. Was informed Manray is a bad place to meet people, it's not very social, and besides, they'd all be goths. I said "I guess I could just seek out a bar with the appropriate demographic"... and then the question came "What demographic are you looking to hit (on)?" And I realized I didn't really have an answer besides ... "receptive".

Ick. There it is again. The whole policy of "she's interesting because she shows interest in me"... is wrong. It can't be enough for anything lasting to come out of. Though I guess ... it's fair enough to use as a reason to get to know her better, and see what happens there. That was affirmed a bit there... And really, if I'm obsessing about this enough that it's keeping me from knowing who I really am, finding some release for that... could be good.

Looking forward to cel-shaded games.

God, it's late. I wonder when my parents are calling in the morning. I kinda told them to call early. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe I should sleep now, to try to make tomorrow ok. Should still be getting six hours at this point.

"If I had more practice being rejected I could try more things, I bet."
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