It's a paradoxical admission, isn't it? I'm sitting there admitting this thing, and I can't even tell if it's because it's good to talk about, to talk through with someone who has a useful perspective on things, or if it's because I want to look sensitive and interesting and attractive. Or both.
To my credit, I haven't broached the subject with any of them; to some extent, I'm afraid to try to sleep with a friend now, because it will mean that it's not really friendship, that everything up to that point is invalidated by ulterior motives. How do I get out of this mental trap? How did I in March? Did I actually subconsciouly only allow myself to ask out a girl I already knew I had trouble communicating with? (making the promise "as long as we talk about everything, it will be good, right?")