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I wonder if I can give up part of my ego and stay in a relatively pressure-free job, passing up the opportunity for higher opportunity, higher responsibility, higher pay, and higher stress.

It's kinda tempting at times. Especially times like this, where the last two days has had my social life just seem to "click," even without any kind of breakthrough to point at. Some of what happened the last two days could never have happened with the people I know in Boston; I can't imagine it.

I wish I could have my cake, eat it, have it on display in the lobby, and teach the recipe on Food Network.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
May. 15th, 2004 08:26 am (UTC)
Becareful of the memory of boston luring you back. It won't be the same when you get back. At least wait for your visit to decide anything, but even then, people will make more of an effort to see you because it's special. More and more people are moving away or are going to shortly (like jencallisto), more and more social circles are separating away or falling into disuse. It will not be the same Boston you remember fondly and it will likely be worse in the social aspects that you fear.

"You can have three of those easily... well, if you have a job on Food Network."
May. 16th, 2004 10:03 am (UTC)
it will likely be worse in the social aspects that you fear.

Do you say this because you suspect crs has a rosier memory of Boston now that he is away, or because your social circles are not as enjoyable to you as they were several years ago?
May. 16th, 2004 01:39 pm (UTC)
A little of both. Memories often filter for the extremes, often teh good things and there seems to be social decay in most of hte groups I ahve exposure too.
May. 16th, 2004 09:51 pm (UTC)
I felt something very similar on my last visit (last fall). Some people had decided to be quite openly cruel to me who had been so in secret before (though not so carefully secret; it's not like I didn't know they were cruel to me whenever they thought they could get away with it). But more than that, social contexts had changed; I've been gone nearly four years now, and it's not so much for me that people are gone (though of course some are), but that many groups had shifted in their character, and the percentage of people who knew and appreciated me had shifted.

It was a very different "you can't go home again" than I've felt before: it wasn't so much that people had moved; it was that the social contexts had changed, so that many of the things that made me love being in Boston had died.
May. 15th, 2004 05:22 pm (UTC)
A different way to think about it is reorienting where you get your ego boost from.
May. 16th, 2004 10:10 am (UTC)
Yet another way to look at it...
Personal growth is a balancing act.

There are lots of different axes we develop along.

As we work toward fulfillment in one of these arenas we tend to spend less time and energy on other arenas. Ideally we'll end up wellrounded, but it's hard to get there, so sometimes we're lopsided one way and sometimes lopsided the other. Just don't ignore any one facet of your life for too long.
May. 16th, 2004 09:54 pm (UTC)
Re: Yet another way to look at it...
I think it's also important for all these to have a self-directed idea of what fulfillment amounts to in each of these areas. For example, don't let society tell you that fulfillment in career means "maximal salary"; instead, have an idea what fulfillment is for you and then regard that as fulfilling, despite society (and bosses!) who want to tell yo different.

Same for all five other things on the list.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )