July 1st, 2005


attention children

No matter what you may think, how safe it may be, or how guiltless you may feel about it, twenty years down the line, Marc Zogby will run a poll and ask you the question, and unless you choose wisely today, you will be forced by your adult respect for honesty and scientific accuracy, to answer "yes" to the question, "Have you ever urinated in a pool?" No extenuating circumstances, no "how long ago?", no explanations allowed, just yes or no. Once you have that stain on your soul, it's there forever.

This has been a public service announcement.