June 30th, 2002

elan montage


I do like being a neutral third party. It's safer, somehow.

Like my homepage has said for a long time, "peering out from the eye of the storm"... except I've taken that first step in, I guess.


Clarification added: "The storm" is, um, a whole life thing, not a specific-to-a-situation thing. A friend commenting made me realize this sounds like something it isn't, the way I phrased it. Heh.

That'll teach me to be poetic.
  • Current Music
    Jimmy Eat World, "live" on SNL
elan montage

Mysterious Cities of Gold

Talk about a memory from my youth! I have the Mysterious Cities of Gold in .rm (RealVideo) format now, looks like I got all 39 episodes :) Getting them down from my intermediate site will take a little time, but soon I will be burning CDs as I watch.

This rocks! I used to love this series! W00t!

Why does this make me think back to what I really wanted out of gaming?
  • Current Music
    "Mysterious Cities of Gold" theme
elan montage


fucking iJournal crashing and losing my post.

too many thoughts to count, a whirlwind of them...

  • overcompensation

Damn. I had such a good list. But as I wrote the list down I checked each thing off mentally as "yep, there it is." and now I can't write it...

  • Mysterious Cities of Gold, some excellent nostalgia there
  • is it for me?
  • what happened that one night?
  • is it easier when it's not important?
  • am i hurting the people i know by flailing about so uncontrollably?
  • path of least/most resistance
  • the other shoe? the forces are at work even now
  • Lilo and Stitch was very, very good. Best classically-animated Disney flick in a long while.
  • Spiderman was good to see a second time as well
  • what the hell?
  • awkwardness is really, really, starting to build up in my intestinal lining, and working its way through my stomach up out my throat
  • sow the wind, reap the whirlwind? How's that line go? That can't be right. Should be something else you sow, like the clouds, or... or...
  • need to get my self-control back. Flirting doesn't feel good like this, I don'[t think.
  • fear for the future.
  • can i just go back to watching cartoons? or sci-fi movies? I could still catch a showing of the Minority Report at this late hour, I bet. Well, maybe not now, I probably have waited too long for it.
  • Crap. I feel like I'm crawling out of a pile of rubble. I must need sleep.

There. I think that about does it. I may expound in individual entries over the next couple days.

  • Current Music
    "Tell Me What It Takes," Aerosmith
elan montage


maybe this is another one of those fucking sleep deprivation moods.

Geez. How could I forget the fact I got up at 8am after getting to bed at 3? It'll all be better in the morning.

Though, how do I know that what I'm thinking when I'm sleep deprived is false, when the awake times might just be the full force power of self-delusion?

Ah, right, because absolutely nothing is clear right now. And it seems likely to stay that way.
elan montage

naming thoughts?

Any thoughts on me retaking the name shabby? Screw what people think... It's a unique identifier, which I've missed on several occasions. "It's Chris" still sounds wrong coming out of my mouth when I'm on the phone, and...

Bleah. Bonanza of babbletude! Definitely bedtime.