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work stuff


So, I've been getting further and further involved in this high-priority project at work... and I'm not sure it's what my management would want if they were paying closer attention. My development tasks are suffering because of it, and I'm working long hours because of it... But I can't turn down the people asking for the help, knowing what's behind their request, and what depends on it.

But management doesn't have me "allocated" for this work this month, and in theory no one is allocated for the task, and the fact I'm helping with it is pushing against the fact that they need someone to do it for real. And in the meantime, the other tasks I have to be doing are falling behind, despite officially being my priority for the month.

Maybe I should talk to my manager in the morning, if she's in; see if she thinks I'm doing good here, or getting too distracted from my "real" work.

The added complication from my point of view is that I've dropped a hint or two that if they needed me to do the job for real, I'd be open to being hired for it, by IBM, as a real employee... as a contractor the long hours turn into comp time, but that's comp time that comes from other projects... have I been using my flexibility at my job to campaign for a better position with a different department? If so, how do I make this right? I mean, that's pretty bad.

Ugh. What have I done?


(Deleted comment)
Mar. 31st, 2004 06:55 am (UTC)
Oh yeah, that's the way it was supposed to go, and the way I was feeling all month, but I just realized there's an entirely different viewpoint to look at it, from the view of the manager who counts tasks in "PMs" (person-months) and the such... the manager who's looking at a deadline that's about to slip, yet again.

On the other hand, I spent about half the month working on that project in a way that didn't actually move it forward, not due to this other work, but because of lack of real understanding of how this thing should be happening. So it's not just the other priorities that are making this slip. Good to remember.

I don't know. I just want to feel Right again, and no part of my life is giving me that... the feeling of having just done something absolutely correctly.


just a guy made of dots and lines

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