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Using Zephyr

I've been reliant on the messaging system from school since ... well, since Freshman year, I think. Reliant on it for an ego boost, for occasional comfort, for some affirmation. It's my community, and I feel a need to be there. All the time. I feel lonely, I look at the screen. I feel tired, I look at the screen.

I need to get off of it. Slowly or quickly, I need to learn to affirm myself, and to find some other way to deal with short-term hangups at work. I hit a snag, and I want to let it mull over in my brain, I go to zephyr, I start up solitaire, or I go to a website. I need to learn to take a walk, or think about a different project at work, or something. I have a lot of different things to be doing, I'm not sure how much idle time is really appropriate for rest, distraction, or emotional wanking.

In my first job, I went too far, allowing the distractions to take over, and since no one ever called me on any of it, I just assumed it was appropriate. I never had anything to rein me in. Now I am in the position of needing some direction, someone to tell me what I'm doing is all right... Or someone to say "stop that, focus more." One or the other.

I don't know if I have the judgment within me. But I think I've gotten a better at it over the years. But it's time to take a very deep look at why I do this Zephyr thing. What does it get me? I get some flirting in... I get to answer technical questions... I ask questions about tech toys; cell phones, laptops, whatever cool thing I'm shopping for at the moment. Going to Amazon, pricing out this or that. Going to Dell, going to Apple, pricing out a laptop... mmm...

I get a little boost from these things. Need 'em. Do I?

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
awfief
Dec. 2nd, 2003 08:10 am (UTC)
You need them in some ways.

But it's a candy bar. Next time you find yourself with a problem at work, try something else. Work stuff -- read a journal, or a website, or a book. You'll feel better that you didn't screw around, and you used your time wisely, and even for work stuff. And you'll learn stuff, too!

says she who is on lj right now. sigh. But it's what I try to do.
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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